Two Weeks In

Two weeks in and it feels like forever.

The boys are more emotional now than at the start, but I've learned (and they've learned) how to comfort them to make it through. Max likes to look at his "Daddy Book" that we put together for each boy with pictures of them with Matt. Payton needs a moment. Usually his emotions get the best of him and he needs a break to recompose. He's learning to identify that he's missing Daddy or if something else is bothering him. They are both using their "Daddy Bears" a lot too. And they are both sleeping better, but still not "normally".

As for me, I'm doing ok. I have moments where I forget he's not here. I think things like "I wonder what he'd want for dinner?" or "Matt will really like that!" or "Maybe Matt can take care of that tomorrow." I've had my share of crying moments and a lot of the time I still feel overwhelmed. I didn't realize how much he helps! It's true that old saying, "You don't know what you have until it's gone." I'm feeling that a lot. I need to remind myself often that I can do this. And I need friends to help. That's what they're there for, right?

I'm sure Matt's lonely too. But he's settling in really well to his new place. It's an amazing apartment! And he's enjoying his freedom to do things on his time. At first I was jealous. Now I'm just realizing that it's part of the commitment; he might as well make the most of it, right?

But that's not going to stop me from wanting time on my own when he gets home. I wonder if my company would send me somewhere for awhile...maybe Cancun?