Monday, December 31

Goodbye 2007; Hello 2008

Wow. What an amazing year.

My family has grown by one perfect little man. My heart has grown. My spirituality has grown. My friendships have grown...

Last January, I gave birth to my second boy. He is such a trying, but loving little man. I know our family is complete and I couldn't ask for anything more for us. He has helped me realize what God made part of me and what I've made myself. I've learned, through watching a child, what is personality and what is choice. He's been a blessing in just one year already.

I have gone to counseling for six months now and it's been God Sent. It started as a way to figure out my marriage and what I wanted from it. But in doing so, I realized I can't expect anything from my husband that I wouldn't give of myself. I've reevaluated and I know where I stand with myself, God and my marriage now. I'm at peace with my decisions thus far.

I have found God in a new way. Through my son. Through counseling. And through friends. I've been lucky to do this in my own time and really figure some things out that were eluding me. I look forward to what he has in store for me and my family.

My friendships. Ahhh. Some things have been painfully made clear to me in the last year. Those who are really there for me. And thus, those who are not. People that I tought I wouldn't count on, surprisingly, are there for me. And truthfully, I'm better with the people who are close and in my life. I'm blessed to have several close friends who I can count on for a shoulder (or boob, Marissa), a drink or just a laugh.

As 2007 comes to a close, I look forward to 2008. I hope for a solid relationship that I can love and count on. I hope for more peace in my life. I hope for answers to questions that have been "out there" for awhile. And I hope for many more good memories with my sons and my friends.

Monday, December 17


Why is it so hard for some people to apologize?

There seems to be something about an apology that people have trouble getting. They are SUPPOSED to be from the heart. Not coerced. They SHOULD be given freely, without reservation. Not begged for and have an alterior motive. An apology SHOULD make the person feel BETTER, not worse...or create an arguement about the apology itself.

A good apology should be in a calm manner, with compassion and understanding. It should include the words "I'm sorry for ________________". Just saying your sorry about something, without naming the specific something, doesn't mean much. A true apology tells the person, and yourself, what the situation was really about and that you know you did wrong.

If I didn't hear your apology, because the kids were screaming, and you were on the other side of the bathroom door while I'm in the shower...don't get mad at ME for asking you to apologize again when I didn't even hear the first one!

Why are apologies so hard for people to give...when it's the most peaceful and easiest way out of a situation? I take apologies to heart. And when people DON'T apologize, it means even more than the apology could have...

Heck. My four year old knows how to apologize "properly"!!

Saturday, December 1

Time away

There is something about time away from my stay at home mom life that is refreshing and rejuvenating. I was fortunate enough a few weeks ago to get a night away with some (crazy, drunk) girlfriends. It's become a tradition for us, this being our third year together.

Drinking, dishing the latest rumors, drinking, eating, drinking, dancing, drinking... What more can a mom away ask for?

But beyond that, it reminds me that I'm more than a mom. More than a wife. I'm a friend. And as conceeded as it sounds, I think I'm a damn good friend. My friends MAKE me a good friend.

I'm already looking forward to next year...

Tuesday, November 27


I LOVE Christmas! It's, by far, my favorite holiday. I have 1/2 my Christmas shopping done. My tree is up and decorated. I've been listening to Christmas music for several weeks already. My house is almost 100% decorated. I've got the date for my "Christmas" party.

But something is missing. It's hard to really enjoy a holiday when the person you share a house with doesn't like the holiday. He complains about the music. He doesn't help with any decorating...putting it up or taking it down. He doesn't want to do anything. I do all the shopping and wrapping.

I just wish he'd at least fake excitement for the holiday...for my sake and the sake of our 4 year old. *sigh* Guess I'll just have to ramp up my excitement to make up for his lack of it. Yeah. That'll teach him!

Tuesday, November 20


I guess because I had babysat so many kids and was a nanny to so many kids growing up, that I thought this parenting thing would be easier. Now, almost 5 years in, it's not getting any easier. And I've realized it's not going to.

My first son was such a great baby. My second has not proven the same. But more than how easier a baby they's emotionally. You teach them to walk, to talk, to have manners, to use them and be, what you hope in the end, will be wonderful people. But recently, my oldest has started using these things I taught him independently.

The other day he told a friend "Hello. It's so nice to see you again." What? He's four. When did he grow up. He tells me he loves me out of the blue for no "real" reason. He's always kissing his little brother and wants to help around the house. He was upset last time I came home from the grocery store and he DIDN'T get to help put the dishes away.

It's great to see them grow and mature, but at the same time, I long for him to need me more sometimes. To depend on me like he used to. I guess that's why I had #2....