Some Women are so Catty

I am so excited for Payton's school and I LOVE how it works and the freedom that we have as parents at the school. I'm so into it that I've joined a committee. Ok, two...maybe three. Geez.

I'm really excited about the Staff Appreciation Committee. Since my mom is a teacher, I have a great interest and desire to help the staff know what they mean to the parents, the kids and the school as a whole. I'm loving where this committee is going and the other moms on it! We all get along great and share awesome ideas with each other in a positive way.

The second committee I'm on is the Hospitality Committee. We're responsible for Principal/Dean Coffees with the parents once a month and making sure the Parent Room is well equipped for meetings, social gatherings and parents who are assisting teachers during the day. Several of my new friends for the Staff Appreciation Committee are on this committee as well. There are several of us who meld really well. I'm enjoying this group too, for the most part.

The committees have been meeting for about two weeks now and I'm enjoying the interaction thus far. But through this whole thing, I've learned several things. 1) I have some GREAT ideas! 2) Not everyone wants to hear about my great ideas, because they have their own great ideas that they think are way better than my ideas. *insert eye roll here* 3) I'm an emotional person at times and I can let the littlest things effect me and ruin my day. *sigh* 4) Some women need to learn to work better with others.

Wish me luck on this teamwork with women thing. I just don't do it well.

Lazy, Cool Saturday

I wish I could say that we decided to make today a pajama day, but that wasn't in the cards for today. The boys were up at 7am and We had a soccer game at 9:30am. Payton did really well for his first game and only having two practices. He's not really a "sports" type person, but he seems to be enjoying himself thus far.

Matt headed into work after the game and I took the boys, ran a few errands and came home. Max took and nap and Payton and I did some gardening. Since then, we've just be hanging out around here.

I think we'll probably put our comfy clothes on after dinner and watch a movie and have some yummy popcorn! Hopefully I don't go crazy in my 4 walls before then.

Here are some recent pics of the boys.

Love Grows

So after last weekend, Matt and I have had an amazing week. He took time off work earlier this week so we could spend some great time together. He and I have been able to talk without yelling and listen without being defensive. We've always been aware of our communication issues, but we are now finally working on repairing and improving them.

I have friends who are MADLY and DEEPLY in love with their husbands. Sickly so. The kind that make you want to puke sometimes. But on some levels I always wondered what it would be like to have that. And to feel that. I mean, I've loved Matt since I met him, but thought I just wasn't capable of mushy gushy love.

After this week...oh, I'm capable. Not only am I capable, I love it! I love that he wants me to come home to spend time with him. I love that he's talking and we're on the same page. I love that we're both going out of way to make the other one more comfortable and feel more loved.

I had no idea, even after almost 7 years of marriage, that I could love Matt any more than I already did. Sure, I've heard people say it, but I had no idea that it was true. And it's taken over in such a short amount of time. Crazy.

I'm looking forward to watching and experience our love growth over the next days, weeks and years. I am overwhelmed with the love I feel for and from my husband.

Matt, I love you. 'Til death do us part!!

Let's Play A Game! *updated*

Come on, who's in for a fun game?

This is a game we play a lot in our house. It's Maxwell's favorite. I hate it, but I have no choice but to play along. And then of course, Matt and Payton have to play too. Our latest round, we've been playing for 24 hours.

The game? Oh! It's called "Where are Mommy's keys?!?!?!?!"

Yesterday morning, I took Payton to school, ran a few errands and came home with one bag and my purse, including my keys and cell phone. Then at 2:30 when it was time to leave to get Payton from school, the keys could not be found. I thought they were just misplaced, but no! After looking EVERYWHERE last night and this morning, they still can't be found.

Normally, when Maxwell gets the keys, his favorite thing to do is to push the LOCK button on the car remote to make the horn honk. But we never heard that noise yesterday. Thankfully, Matt had an extra key to my car and I had extra house keys made this morning. But still I'm missing the other 6 keys on that ring and my YMCA pass.

SO! You get to join in. Name places you would put keys if you were a mischievous almost two year old and I'll look there. If I find the keys per your suggestion, I will give you $5! Yes, seriously. I'm that desperate!!

*****
Update at 4:00pm:
So still no keys. All morning. I had already looked in all your places, but looked again. Thank you for all your suggestions!
Then...Maxwell comes out of the playroom, pushing the button, making the horn honk.
NO CLUE where they were as we tore that room apart last night. But at least they are found.
I guess Maxwell gets the $5! Oh wait, I spent it on buying new house keys this morning. LOL

Emotional Weekend

Matt and I had a great, emotional, trying weekend.
It was very very much needed.
We're more committed to each other today than I believe the day we got married.
But we know we can't make it alone.
We decided to put God into it. And make Him first.
Sunday, at church, we renewed our vows to one another.
We are a long way from being great or healed, but we're on the right path.
We're getting amazing help and support from church and mentors.
Please, please, please...remember us in your prayers.

Shhh...

Do you hear that silence? Isn't it nice?!

My inlaws left 30 minutes ago with my boys in tow for the weekend. Matt and I had planned to have dinner together, but I'm just not feeling up to eating, so I "let" him go out with his friends a little early. I'm hoping to be feeling better REALLY soon, as I have a Tiffisa date tonight. Much needed too.

But until then, I think I'm going to go take a bath. And maybe a nap. And wait for Tiffany to call me. Off to enjoy my quiet...

Patience

Some people have it, some people don't.

Well, that's not true. Just some people have a lot more than other people I guess.

I have quite a bit. Especially with Payton. Maxwell on the other hand, tests my patience daily. Sometimes he wins and my patience loses.

Missy tests my patience on an hourly basis. She almost always wins and ends up back outside so I don't have to deal with her. Good thing she likes it so much out there.

But even beyond my charges, I notice my patience being tested lately. In line at the grocery store. In traffic. In my marriage. With God.

I'm trying to be more focused and realize that I need to relax and let life and God take charge and not be in such a rush. But it's hard with our fast paced society.

So if you see me sitting it traffic yelling at the car in front of me. Or hear me telling the boys to "Hurry UP!" yet again...remind me to breathe. The worst that can happen is we're a few minutes late.

I'd write more about this, but we have to have lunch, get Max down for nap, clean the bathroom, do laundry, clean the kitchen floors, pick up Payton from school, come home, do homework, eat dinner, go to church, meet with our pastor, come home, take baths, get the boys to bed, do more cleaning...

Breathe, Ellisa...just breathe.

my lil' nurturer

This afternoon, I started to feel icky. Mostly a headache, but just kind of gloomy feeling.

I was laying on the couch when Payton heard me tell Matt I wasn't feeling very good and I didn't want to eat dinner. Payton decided to get me my favorite things to make me better. He got my cozy blanket and covered me. He brought me my pillow from my bed. He found my "Secret", an old bear I've had since I was 11 years old. Once I was all covered and snuggled in, Payton brought me a story about stars to read it to me.

He sat next to me reading it to me while I fell asleep. When he was done, he wasn't even upset that I slept through the book. He even got me another one. One about a bear who ate too much. I fell asleep during that one too.

When that book was done, he put the books away and gathered his crayons and coloring book. He found a picture of two giraffes and colored it BEAUTIFULLY for me. He hung it on the wall so that I could see it while I laid on the couch.

I'm so blessed to have a little boy, who at only five years old, knows how important it is to do nice things for people when they aren't feeling good. And all the time really. He's really going to make a great, attentive husband someday.

I'm still cool!!!

Payton told me this morning that I "rock" because I made him "really good" eggs for breakfast.

My neighbor, who is younger and way cooler than me, said that I looked "smashing" lately and commented about my weight loss.

Then my younger brother, who's a bachelor, called to invite me to come to Ohio for a party he's going to be having. No reason for the party really...just a party to party with friends. I can't go, but I was still very excited that he thought to call me well in advance to invite me to hang out with his friends.

I guess I'm cooler than I thought I was.

Part of the Senior Citizen Community

I have been swimming laps at the Y on Mondays and Fridays. It's a nice change in my workout and I'm really enjoying it. There are only four lanes, and I seem to have intruded a bit. There were four older ladies, all over 65, who swim during that time too. Two of them very kindly offered to merge to give me my own lane. Very kind of them.

On Monday, after talking to them and getting to know them, they suggested, in their kind-old-lady voices, that I stay and take the "Aqua Aerobics" class with them. They said it was "a lot of fun" and "a different kind of workout". I couldn't refuse them. It was everything they described, that's for sure.

During out break between laps and class, the locker room began to fill with ladies in swimsuits. I was by far the youngest, with the next youngest being in her 50s. There were 28 of us. The oldest is 102!! These women are all "young" for their age. Able bodied and free spirits. You could tell they've known each other a long time and run in the same circles.

They talked about summer vacations, husbands (past and living), grand kids and motor homes. It was like entering a parallel universe. They tried to make me feel comfortable, but as they're talking about how LATE the class is (at 9:15am) I'm trying to explain that I'm still adjusting to getting my kid to school at 8am.

The class opened with a "rush" (if you can call it that...more like a slow meander) to the pool. We did exercises that I normally consider my warm up. They kept asking if I was doing ok and reminded me to breathe normally and not to push myself. I tried to contain my giggles. Yes, I was doing well, thank you.

After class, I met a few of the ladies who own a local day spa. We hung out in the sauna because there were more women wanting to shower than there were showers. Again, more conversation of the same as before.

I had a good time. It was a reminder that I have a lot to look forward to. These women are where me with my friends will be in 45 years. We'll be hanging out at the local gym, enjoying each others' company and reminiscing about the "good old days". I don't think I'll take the class again, but I do feel connected to them. They're a great group of ladies!

On my mind

We left town Friday as soon as we picked Payton up for the weekend. He had another GREAT day at kindergarten and was thrilled to be going to Papa Gene's and Grandma's house. Matt had his guard weekend and I had plans to catch up with family and friends.

I did a lot. I had a lot of fun. My mom and I had another productive shopping excursion and I couldn't be happier with the time we had together. It was special as no other time with any other person can be.

But, the thing...or person...who is on my mind, wasn't even in my life until 2:00pm on Saturday afternoon. I'd never met her, never seen her, never heard of her. Really, she's not in my life now. She just touched my life and reminded me of who I was and what I've become.

Amanda. She was my masseuse when Mom took me for a massage as a splurge. I tend to be really quiet when getting my massages. I like to just relax and enjoy the massage. But this time, I was chatty.

You see, we went to the massage school in my hometown. My student masseuse was Amanda. Amanda is eighteen. And trying really, really hard to make the most of her life. I'm not sure what led me to talk to her, but I asked her very personal questions. Some things you don't even ask your friends you've known for years.

She is trying to overcome issues her life has dealt her and poor decisions she's made. She's learning, growing and maturing. She's more mature than most eighteen year olds I know. Heck, she's more mature than most 22 year olds I know. She's working, going to school, living on her own and trying to make it all work. She's got big hopes. She's got big dreams. She's trying to make it all happen. Without much, if any, support.

I remember being in that stage in my life. I'm still living it. I know that life didn't deal me great cards. And I didn't make the best decisions. But I learned. I tried and I made it work. I know that Amanda can too. I hope she does. I PRAY that she does. I feel for her in my heart and she's been on my mind since we parted on Saturday.

We have so much in common that I felt compelled to share my email address and blog address with her. So, Amanda, if you're reading this, I know you can overcome and persevere. I know that you can complete your dreams and make it all happen for you. Don't give up. I'm rooting for you and cheering you on, all the way from Michigan. And feel free to email me anytime. Really, I mean that.

My daily life has changed

Wow. What a difference! I knew it would be different, but I had no idea how easy.

Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Payton. In fact, on most days, he's the one I choose to run errands with if Matt is staying home. But WOW. With Matt not having to go to work until 10:15am on the early days, I get up, take Payton to school and then hit the gym. I was done at the gym by 10am! Normally I'm not getting there until 9:30 or so! CRAZY!

When I got home, I played outside with the dog and Max. How nice and relaxing to not have the whining and bickering between the boys. I love them both, but it's much more peaceful when they're apart. (What does that say about my future?! I'm afraid!)

Here are a few pics of Max and Missy today.

We survived!

It was a bit concerning, but we managed to pull through Payton's first day of kindergarten without any tears or drama.

We woke, we ate, we dressed, we made and packed lunch (I did remember!) and we took pictures. My biggest concerns I realized were just mine. Not for him. They were about parking and drop off and pick up and lunch. All of which were issues for me, not him. He was going to be just fine.

We got to school, got in line up and waited to go in. He did fine. He gave me a hug and kiss and said goodbye and was off. There were a lot of moms crying outside the school, but all-in-all, it went smoothly for everyone.

I met Christine for breakfast at Panera, went to the gym and finished "first day of school cupcakes" for Payton.

Around 3:15, all hell broke loose at the school. The system they had worked out for pickup, didn't work. The parking was bad. But, we all knew that going in. Hopefully it will get better. But getting our kids from our teacher...that was BAD! Teachers were surrounded by the kids and parents surrounded the kids. I wouldn't be surprised if tomorrow there are more rules and regulations set up. It was REALLY bad. I'm still hoping no one got lost in the shuffle.

Talking to Payton, his favorite parts were eating snack, eating lunch and "looking for the gingerbread man", a game Mrs. McCoy had to help them learn their way around school. He said he missed me a lot, but that the note I left in his lunch bag helped a lot. He's so sweet! And he wrote me a note back "I Love Mom" on an extra napkin he had in his bag.

He said he wants to go back tomorrow, and I guess that's really the most important part, right?

Crying Jag

Geez, and I thought *I'd* be emotional. I never counted on Payton crying up a storm.

I just put him in bed. (yep, it's 7:30pm and they're both in bed. It's been that kind of day.) It started at bathtime. He started asking more questions about school. Tomorrow *is* the big day!! The questions were the usual; "Where will I eat lunch?" "What happens if I get sick?" "What if I don't like someone?" "What if people aren't nice to me?". Then we get into the other side. The side he hasn't asked before.

"What will you do while I'm at school?" I told him it'd be a normal day, just without him. We'd still run errands and I told him that he probably won't have to go to the grocery store much anymore since I can go while he's at school. Then I talked about Max and I doing swimming lessons. He seemed ok.

Then. The one that did us in. "But I'll miss you so very very very much! What do I do when I miss you?" That was it. Tears started rolling. Sobbing started. And that was all just Payton. Maxwell chimed in with sympathy crying. I teared up, but I had to show him that it was ok. I had to be strong for my lil' guy.

"I'll miss you too, buddy. But you'll have plenty of people to keep you company."

"Yeah, but they aren't you!"

Oh Lordy, does he know how to pull my heartstrings. Here it comes...I could feel the tears falling.

We cried together, him wrapped in a towel, sitting on the bathroom floor. Talking about school and how it's ok to miss people. I told him he could get a hug from Ms. Dowker, his principal. I told him I'd be there to drop him off and pick him up. I told him that I'd be thinking about him. I reminded him that when he's feeling alone that Jesus is with him all the time. I couldn't think of anything else.

As I tucked him in and turned out the light, he asked if he could take a stuffed animal to school. I told him I thought it would be fine, but that animal would have to stay in his backpack all day.

I think we'll be ok. I think we'll pull through.

But if I'm not posting tomorrow about the wonderful first day of Kindergarten, you'll understand why.