ups & downs

I had my first official day of work on Monday. Today is only Tuesday and I'm questioning my decision to return to work. Again or Still, I'm not sure.

I have great moments and then I have moments where I'm questioning everything. I hope that this feeling of unrest settles. I hope the emotional side of me can find peace. I hope that I can find some faith in the system, in my situation and in the situation I've put the boys in. None if it is "bad" really, just that I'm not sure where I really belong, if the boys are going to be happy...and I feel like I'm the one carrying the weight of it all.

I just want to crawl into a hole and sleep for 48 hours...
No one told me it would be like this...

first day of school

Not for the students, but for me. And not to take classes, but to assist in the teaching of them.

I'm leaving in 15 minutes for my first of 9 days of conferences and seminars and sit downs with our leadership team and all my co-workers.

I hope to determine more about what I'll be doing exactly and finding a more comfortable position in this process.

Pray for me. And the kids. Today is their first day at "Ms. Sherri's" house, where they will spend about 16 hours this week. And pray for Matt. His role as part-time stay at home dad, will challenge him at times to accomplish cleaning and errands while managing out "bold" 2.5 year old.

Big changes all around!

less than 72 hours

Monday.
My life with change.
I'm torn. I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm dreading it and yet I'm so excited.
I know God has put me at Reach for a reason, and I'm trusting him.
I know he wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle and my family couldn't handle.
I know we'll all be fine.
So why is this so hard?!

Birthdays...and Shopping

My (30th) birthday was last Friday. My mom still had Payton and so I called our favorite babysitter who was available to come be with Max.

We went to the Melting Pot (so yummy) and then went to the movies to see District 9. Very different, yet good, movie. It's weird to feel sorry for aliens.

Saturday my mom came to town. Sunday we went to church and relaxed.

Monday, the fun began!! Mom and I spent 9 hours "thrifting" at different Salvation Army's in the area to find the "finishing pieces" on my wardrobe for work. We found some AMAZING pieces, new with tags, for CHEAP prices! It's so nice to have this market available to us. After another 3 hours of shopping today, we're about done. I need a few pieces of jewelry, a pair of black flats, some boots and a raincoat. Whew!!

The rest of this week holds great time with my mom, my boys and my husband. Thursday we're heading up to Armada Fair, the best "old time" fair in the area. The weekend holds the Air Show out at the military base.

Monday, I start work. Eek. It's happening. It's really happening.

"I need feed Missy dog"

That's what Max asked me while I was cleaning out the coat/shoes closet. I said, "sure, feed the dog, Max." He's done it before and done ok with the process. "Just 2 scoops, buddy." I remind him from the hallway.

I got distracted with figuring out what to keep and what to pitch and next thing I hear is the sound of a LOT of dog food hitting the metal bowl.

Apparently Max was using a bigger "scoop" than I meant for him to.

missing him

It happens every year it seems. I send him away for just a week and somehow my mom keeps him longer. I miss him so much, but I know without a doubt he's having a GREAT time.

becoming a veggie...kinda...maybe

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. And I think I'm about there. I'm going to become a vegetarian again...on some level.

I was for a year or two back in high school and I remember feeling well and healthy. Back then, my parents did the managing of what I ate, but now I'm more aware of what my body needs and how to get it.

I'm not sure how much meat I'll be giving up yet. I know red meat for sure. For the last year or so, when I've had a steak or a "great" burger, I've not been "well" after wards. And I feel those effects for a few days really.

I'm not a big fan of chicken anyway. I'll eat it here and there, but maybe two times a week. I'm sure I can live without that. I'm all for fish. I actually wish I knew how to cook it better and do more things with it. I think I'd really like it, and Matt loves it too. The hardest thing for me will be bacon. Who doesn't love bacon!?!

There's no way I could become a vegan. I love ice cream, cream cheese and cheese too much!

My reasoning isn't because of animal rights or because of chemicals and medications in the meats (although I'm not a fan). It's because I don't care for meat much anymore and it's just not seeming to do a lot for me.

I don't expect special meals in my honor. I'm fine with picking meat out of a dish and dishes made with chicken stock and such. Just make some extra veggies when I'm coming your way. And maybe some bacon.

Any veggies out there wanna share your thoughts??

camping tiffisa style

The weather ruined the plans Tiffany & I had for a great weekend of camping. Instead, we camped Tiffisa Style; Ann Arbor Hands-On Museum & Splash Universe Waterpark in Dundee, MI.

Camping Games & Fun

Camp Food

Roughing it in the Wilderness

Real Camping BBQ, delivery

S'mores (ala microwave)

Surrounded by Wild Animals

Lydia with her flashlight and squirt gun ready to fend of any animals who decide to attack

Nate, not amused by the "babies" sleeping on either side of him, or the mommies in the front seat who think the entire situation is hilarious.

It was 24 hours full of laughs, love and going with the flow; that is what Tiffisa is all about. In the end, everyone escaped the weather in one piece and happy...with bumps, bruises and cuts along the way.

...thoughts at midnight...

It's 12:26am on Saturday. I'm to be at my best friend's home in about 9 hours to embark on our first ever overnight trip together with our kiddos. We're going tent camping. (no really, we are.) I know we're really looking forward to it, but a bit of me is hesitant as well. I know we'll have a great time...I just hope the kids actually go to sleep at some point.

Beyond that tiny bit of stress, I just can't sleep. I actually haven't even brushed my teeth or taken my contacts out because I know that when I do go lay down in bed, it will be an hour of tossing and turning trying to fall asleep. It's so hard when Matt isn't home. And the house is extra quiet without Payton. He snores and his music or CD story books are usually playing when I'm trying to sleep. I guess I've gotten so used to all the noise around me that now I can't sleep without it. And once I do finally fall asleep, my dreams will just be filled with things I don't want to be thinking about.

I know Matt's not having fun where he's at either. Usually he gets to go to Germany or Hawaii or something and he's having a great time. Of course, I'm always jealous at home that I haven't been able to do some of these fun things, but I know he's having fun. This time though, he's in Indiana doing some lame exercises with Army guys. The barracks are like dorm rooms and he says the bathrooms are disgusting. This from the man who can step over dirt for weeks. They must be really bad!

And...to top it all off, I know my job is looming. I start on the 17th. That seems so close all the sudden. I haven't really done my part to help Max get used to his child care provider, so I feel really bad about that. And I want it all to go well, but I feel bad that Payton had me home until he started school full time and Max won't. Who will take him on his field trips in preschool? What about trips to the farm? And cider mills? What about zoo trips in the middle of the day when no one else is there? I feel so bad that he won't get all the attention that Payton did. I worry it will set him back somehow in school or socially...

Oh yeah. And I turn 30 on Friday!!!!!!! (please note how this is the first year I'm not celebrating all month long. let's just get this over with.)

All these crazy thoughts are running through my head. The only one I'm not worried about is Payton. Thankfully he's behaving and having a great time at my parents, thanks in big part to their neighbor/my brother's girlfriend, Hope. She's a teacher and loves to read, so Payton thinks of her as his personal friend, entertainer and teacher. He can't get enough of her.

Ah well. I know I can't solve any of these things. I should just go to bed. I'll be laying in there for awhile...maybe I can find the solution to World Peace while I'm at it.

traveling different paths

We're all going our separate ways this week. Matt heading to Indiana for military stuff. Payton heading to Ohio for a week with my parents. Max and I will be hanging around locally catching up with friends and we have a special weekend ahead of us.

It's going to be weird...not having my husband or my oldest child around. Max will be lonely without his brother. He always is. He mope around the house for a few hours every day asking about brother. I'll have to work extra hard to keep him busy.

I'm sure we'll do lots and post lots of pictures...but it will be weird. Just me and a 2.5 yr old. Weird and trying. Pray for us all on our travels and journeys.

Sterling Fest 2009

Yesterday, my in laws came up from Toledo to attend Sterling Fest in Sterling Heights, MI. We all had a great time eating, playing, watching, eating, dancing and eating. There were tons of food vendors, crafts for the kid, a midway, shows, concerts and crafters. Sterling Heights sure knows how to put on a great festival! I think we'll try to attend again next year.

Spinning Bowl

Last week, while at a local park, our family encountered a unique toy on the playground. It's essentially a weighted spinning bowl that you sit in. You can make yourself spin faster or slower as you lean in or out. I thought it looked like fun and made Payton go in. He loved it and started laughing so hard he could barely speak.


He suggested I get in. Sure. Why not. Only a few people were there watching us.
Wow! That thing can spin fast!! Matt had to stop me because I couldn't do it myself.


Then Matt got in. That was hillarious.


We were afraid of what would happen to Max if he spun too fast, so we didn't spin him...but he did get his picture taken.

Afterwards we all felt sick for 2 hours. Maybe we don't want one for our backyard.