Tuesday, August 25

ups & downs

I had my first official day of work on Monday. Today is only Tuesday and I'm questioning my decision to return to work. Again or Still, I'm not sure.

I have great moments and then I have moments where I'm questioning everything. I hope that this feeling of unrest settles. I hope the emotional side of me can find peace. I hope that I can find some faith in the system, in my situation and in the situation I've put the boys in. None if it is "bad" really, just that I'm not sure where I really belong, if the boys are going to be happy...and I feel like I'm the one carrying the weight of it all.

I just want to crawl into a hole and sleep for 48 hours...
No one told me it would be like this...


Anonymous said...

I understand your unsettlement I have been feeling this for some time because of the decisions I have had to make about GG. I too have wanted to crawl into a hole, but I still think a better place to crawl is Punta Cana (all inclusive all the drinks you want lol) Take care and know I love you. Love Mom K

Marissa said...

change takes time. in time, you'll know if this is right. give it some time.

love you!

Jen said...

I am sure in time you will find the answers you seek. We are here for you and support you no matter what. ((((HUGS))))

The D'Alessandro Family said...

I know it's hard right now, but it will get easier. Keep your head up and if you ever want to vent, give me a call!

Anonymous said...

Every change in life is scary, especially when you just starting out on a new path.

Stay positive, keep your eyes bright, your heart open, and greet the universe positively and it will return back to you with the same kindness. So that someday, when you look back in time, at the path you have chosen, you will find out how wonderful it really was. Additionally, that the time might provide for your family add to your own self worth and offer you new friendships and joy.

Conquering your fears and problems are just steps of growth.


Kim Cervone said...

That crazy confusion will pass with time...wait it out : ) xo

Rambling Rachel said...

I can't remember why you're in my Google Reader, but you are.

It gets easier. Or it gets different. Or it gets routine.

I do know this from experience:
--it takes a village to raise a child and a daycare provider becomes part of the family (sounds like you're using a home-based provider and that's definitely true)
--when the other parent goes solo watching the kids, it's hard to let go of what he doesn't do right
--he needs time and support to learn his new job as caregiver (it's a hard one and you know it!)
--you won't be able to do 75% of the things you did before, so some things will get dropped or delegated

Keep posting! This journey should be quite the ride!