Sunday, May 17

Life Without Matt

On Tuesday, Matt left for another military trip. This time to Dayton, OH for a few days before heading back to Toledo for his normal guard duty. He seemed to really benefit from the time there and enjoyed his role and responsibilities he had.

But while he was gone, my time was not so enjoyable. I love my children, but when I'm used to having help and a break every few days as needed, it was really hard on me to have them both to myself. I did survive the week, but not without incident.

Tuesday was BY FAR the worst day. The kids had doctor's appointments (they're well and healthy) and although they didn't receive any shots, they still had a rough time with being at the doctor. Payton wants to be the center of attention and wants Dr. Clark to see how good he can do EVERYTHING. Maxwell on the other hand doesn't want to doctor to touch him. She had to do a full exam on his teddy bear before he would even allow her to listen to his heart or shine a light in his eyes.

From that point on, the rest of the afternoon was crud. Temper tantrums at the grocery store, McDonald's not having what we needed to order, a car accident (just a bump) was all bad. Not the way I wanted to start my week without Matt.

While he was gone I did a lot of thinking. I realized I don't NEED a husband. Nope. I can get the neighbor's lawn guy to mow our lawn. I can take out the garbage. I can care for the kids by myself (I just won't be sane any longer). I can even pump my own gas and inflate my own tires. Nope, I don't need him.

But MAN do I miss him. I WANT him to be around. I want him to share the roles of parenting and homeowner. I want him to be here to be part of the family and be my best friend. I want him to give me those great comforting hugs no one else can give. I want him to snuggle up next to in bed. I want him to talk to and understand the inner workings of my heart. I don't NEED a husband, but I sure do need Matt.

I miss you, babe. Hurry home!


Kim Cervone said...

It is a wonderful thing to realize how much he brings to your life : )

Danielle a.k.a Yellie said...

I'm sorry to hear that you've had such a rough time without Matt there, but it is heartwarming to see how much you love him and it's just a reminder that sometimes we don't realize just what we've got until it or they aren't there.