Thursday, July 17

Delighted, yet depressed

While on vacation, I took a long walk for almost an hour by myself. I walked down to the pier and back to our beach site and I've never been more confident in a swimsuit in my life. I knew that I looked better than I have in seven years! It was huge for me.

I've lost about 15 lbs since the first of the year. Only 8 more to go. You'd think I'd be happy about that. And I am.


Yet I couldn't stop feeling a bit of disappointment. My thighs touched when I walked and I wasn't happy about my arms. Why is it that us women can never be happy even when we get to a good place with ourselves? There's always something else screaming at you to "LOSE MORE!" or "TONE THIS!" or "LOOK LIKE HER!" I understand why girls develop eating disorders.

After seeing literally hundreds of women in bikinis, I decided I was just going to have to work harder. I'll never be bikini worthy, but at least I can be even more confident next year, right?

10 comments:

Marissa said...

I think most women, unfortunately, could have written your blog entry today.

You were good enough THIS YEAR.

I'm positive you looked smashing, thighs rubbing and all.

(I think I could weigh 100 and my thighs would still rub, seriously - its just the way I'm built).

{{{love you, you confident-yet-ever-questioning woman you!}}}

Gene said...

I think the reason we women feel the way we do about our bodies is because of society, TV to be exact. It screams loose weight,look like a twig, get plastic surgery etc.it just goes on and on. You looked FABULOUS my dear !!!!!!!!!!!! Love Mom K.

Marissa said...

hey now Mom K, don't be downing the plastic surgery route. ROFL!!!

:)

MiaBellaRose said...

You look fabulous my lovie!! I think more than half of the battle of losing weight is realizing it within your thoughts and emotions. I for one have given up, it is just not in me right now - so keep walking next to me and you will look like a super model ;) lol No seriously, like Marissa stated the way your structure was created from God, perhaps is intended to have rubbing thighs (((hugs)))

Gene said...

Hi Marissa: Sorry did not mean to dis what you just had done lol. But with the awesome work you just did on your weight you deserved it!!!!! I was remarking on all the starlets who have it done just for the heck of it because heaven forbid that they have a bump or lump on their bodies Lol. Love Mom K

Marissa said...

no worries, Mom K, i'm still bumpy in lots 'o places. and my thighs still very much rub together. hahahaha ;)

Gene said...

Marissa: Mine rub also LOL probably always will :)Love Mom K

Tiffany said...

YOu are doing and looking GREAT lovie! Remember what you tell the kids- better, not perfect.

Danielle a.k.a Yellie said...

I so know exactly where you're coming from. I too have lost 15 pounds now, but I just can't seem to really be happy with that. People keep telling me how good I look, but all I can think about is the other 25-30 pounds I still need to lose and the fact that my gut still rolls when I sit down and my arms still have that yucky flappage. Ugh, why can't we just be happy with our accomplishments? I guess it's just a curse that pretty much all women have a body complex and will never be completely satisfied with themselves. However, I think you should know that I saw your newest pictures and I think you look absolutely awesome! So, whether you think you do or not, I KNOW you do!

Kim Cervone said...

Don't all living (ie not skeletons)human beings thighs touch when they walk? Don't be so hard on yourself. You look fantastic and are healthy. Some of these bikini-clad women probably have far worse issues than fitting nicely into a swimsuit. Life is good...for more peptalk with Kim, see Kim in person xoxo