Saturday, October 11

Questioning my abilities

Hey, Moms! Ever have those days where you feel you just may not be cut out to be a mother? Or at least not as good of one as you hoped you'd be?

Today was that day for me. Actually, just this morning. Payton had soccer at 9:30am. I "let" Matt take the boys to the field and I made hot cocoa for him and tea for me and grabbed snacks for the boys. I arrived at soccer at 9:45am and enjoyed the game. By 10:30am, we were packing up and heading out. Matt was going straight to work. I didn't want him to go. Yes, because I like spending time with him, but also because I just didn't feel like being a mom. And I was questioning if the boys would have a good day with me. I didn't feel like I was quite capable of what the boys would need today.

Now, in the end, I know that I did a good job with them today. Payton and I had some great one-on-one time which is hard to find now that he's at school all day. And Maxwell and I played kick the ball in the backyard for awhile after I mowed down the field growing back there.

But not all days end that way. Sometimes I really feel like I'm disappointing them. Or maybe instead of being so stern with them, I should cave more often. Maybe they'll grow up hating me. Maybe I'm not teaching them all that I could be.

Why do we as moms, and as women, question ourselves so much? Why is there so much pressure on moms to have "the BEST" kids possible? And why do we let it get to us?

Ugh. I don't think anyone knows the answers or a solution. I think we all just feel this way from time to time. Today was my turn.


Marissa said...

Ellisa!! You are an awesome mom! We all have our days when we're less than perfect at our jobs, in our relationships, with our kids... that makes you human. Showing your kids that you're human, and imperfect, is a gift. Some people/moms can't admit they are human, not Supermom/person (i know some) and they are setting their children up for some serious disappointment down the road with other people.

Mama said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this my Mama said.

I love & adore you not only as a person & friend, but for the mom that you are. *hugs*

The D'Alessandro Family said...

It's gonna happen. We're all human. We strive to be the best and when we finally realize we're not... it sucks. But it makes us who we are and it makes our kids even better for it. They realize we all are imperfect, and we realize it's ok to be that way. You see, I'm a bit intoxicated while I'm writing this... it's ok because my kids are sleeping and while reading your post I am realizing it's ok to be this way every once in a while. Our kids think we are the best even when we don't and that's the way it should be! Later, they'll realize we actually are human. Hopefully, much later!

I really wish we live closer to eachother! Ok, I'm done. Love ya!

Jen said...

You are awesome, you know that, you just needed a little reminder. I think I have moments everyday where I question my abilities as a mother, wife,ect. It's normal.

((((HUGS)))) Love ya!!!

Gene said...

We have all been there!!!!! Don't beat yourself up, every mom feels this way, but you are a GREAT Mom don't EVER let any one tell you different. Love Mom K.