Thursday, October 23

Selfless Giving

So, most of you know Matt and I had our "marriage changing weekend" about a month ago. Our marriage, although not AWFUL, was not great prior to that. We had one of those knock down drag out fights that lasted all weekend. And we're better people and better spouses because of it.

We've been really trying hard to meet each other's needs in emotional ways more. I suck at this. I guess I'm a selfish person by nature. Or maybe not with everyone, but maybe just with those closest to me. I'm not sure...still analyzing that.

But Matt. He's amazing at giving. He can give and give and while he does appreciate things back, he's not doing it for things back. Yesterday, I came home from P's school and he had cleaned the house. Tonight as we sat down for dinner, he asked me to make up the grocery list so that he could do the shopping tomorrow since I'm occupied at P's school all day. I can't tell you the last time Matt went grocery shopping without me.

The one that really blew me away though was when I had a headache yesterday. It'd been with me all day and it was because of raw emotions we've been expressing lately. Matt knew just what to do when I jokingly asked him to "Please make my headache go away." He brought me Motrin, gave me a neck and shoulder massage, and brought me a warm cloth.

The acts of kindness and love he's been doing lately are humbling. While I know that I don't necessarily deserve all the love he's giving lately, I love that he's still loving me with all he has to give. It gives me great hope for our future together. And it sets a good example for what I should be doing for him. Loving him. Even when it's the hardest.


Gene said...

Ellisa: Don't be so hard on yourself, I am sure you are making all kinds of lead way in your relationship, when we are working on ourselves we are the last one to see the changes. Hang in there. And I am glad things have gotten so much better for the two of you. Love Mom K.

The D'Alessandro Family said...

You go, Matt! Can you call my husband and "remind" him to clean and go grocery shopping?!!

Elli, I agree with Mom K... as long as I have known you, you have always been a giving person without knowing it (as well as too hard on yourself). Remember, it's the little things that make a big impact and I'm sure Matt appreciates EVERYTHING you do!

Danielle a.k.a Yellie said...

It really is hard sometimes and I catch myself not being quite as giving as Brian is, but that's just a little kick in the butt to be more aware of it and make the effort. It sounds like great things have been happening for the two of you and your relationship and I'm so happy for both of you.

Marissa said...

apparently we really do share the same brain. perhaps matt & garth do too. **love you**

Kim Cervone said...

Maybe your personality is just not the same as his. it is part of why he loves you : )