Tonight is Payton's holiday performance at school. I'm sad that I'm still in the hospital and not able to be there. My mom is there with Maxwell and one of my co-workers, Jennifer Sesi, is recording it, but it's not the same as seeing it live myself. Now I've missed the boys' only Christmas performances this year; church's on Sunday and school's tonight.
I know that there are many more years of concerts to come. And I know I've been lucky enough to see them all up to this point, but I'm still sad. Sad that I didn't get to see anything. Sad that I've been out of the boys lives physically for 7 days and out of their lives due to the pain for at least 10 days.
I miss my kiddos. And I miss interacting with them. And I miss my life. All for stupid pain that won't go away anyway!